Another Week

Well, I got a call from the doctor today and I have to go in and have blood work done for another week. I was really hoping that last week would be the end of going every week, but o well. My HCG levels are at 31 and they have to be below 5 before I can quit going every week. Previous weeks have been 650ish, 150ish, 68 and now 31. I am tired of needles!

Nothing else is really going on with us. Tom is finishing up firearms training at the Police Academy which he has really enjoyed. He is now starting defense tactics, so basically they get to beat each other up every day, all day for a week and a half. I'm just glad it's not me having to go through that :)

Friday the 13!!!

My Friday the 13th was good! I had my doctors appointment today and all went very well. She said everything was going just like it was suppose to. My HCG levels are falling and she thinks I will only have one more week of having to have my blood drawn every week. After that we will go to once a month for six months and I will go in for an exam once a month. She said my body was healed from my surgery and she examined me to make sure there were no masses growing and there weren't, everything was normal. She reassured me several times that it was VERY rare for this to turn into cancer and that with all of this monitoring, even if it does, it is very easily taken care of by chemo. She told me that one time when they were in a clinic they had a case where the woman hadn't been monitored and she had lots of this cancer tissue everywhere. After two rounds of chemo it was completely gone and she was just fine. She also said that all of this monitoring should be over by the end of July and then it is up to us when we will want to start trying again.

On a different note, I was told that several people have tried to leave comments but were not able to unless you had a google account (which is free). That was the default setting so I went in to my settings and changed it to where anyone can leave a comment now. You will just have to do it as "Anonymous." If you want, after your comment you can type your first name if you want me to know who you are. There is a 98% chance that I can figure out who you are by just your first name. If not, I will just know that someone out there is thinking of us. Again, we really appreciate all of the comments, cards, prayers, thoughts, etc....

Crazy Tom

Here are some pictures of Tom being crazy. He volunteered for this, so keep that in mind. The dog, Cobus, is a police narcotics and bite dog.

Attitude

Well, I gave you all the medical information but I never really got to how we are handling all of this. It has been pretty hard, but each day is getting a little bit better. I won't lie, when we first found out about the partial molar pregnancy and everything that was going to have to be done I was extremely angry. I thought, wow, isn't it enought to have to deal with the loss? Now I have to go through all this and will have to, in a way, revisit this once a month for the next six months. It just isn't fair! But after having quite a melt down with my dad and after talking to several people I began to realize that I can't do anything to change the circumstances. I can only control how I will react to them. So I am trying to focus only on the positive. Which if you read my first post you can clearly see that there could be a lot of negative to focus on, but I'm trying not to. I don't know if any of you have ever heard of Randy Pausch, but he is the man that is known for "The Last Lecture." There is a book and you can actually watch the video on youtube. He was a man dying of cancer and he wanted to pass on his life lessons. I have read most of the book and watched the video. One of the things that I got from him was you can either be a Tigger or an Eeyore about the hand you are dealt. So I have decided to try to be a Tigger. I think that there are definitely some positives that can be pulled out of our circumstances. These are in no particular order. 1. We know why we had a miscarriage. Our baby had genetic problems. Many people have no idea why a pregnancy may have ended in a miscarriage. In a way this has brought a small amount of closure to us in the fact that we know why it happened. 2. Next time we do get pregnant they will start monitoring very early. I think that this will greatly help me and my overly anxious mind. 3. The chances of this happening again are extremely low, only 1-2%. 4. This has helped us understand just how much we really want a baby and that we really feel ready.
Most of all, we know that God is in control of our lives and that He had a reason for this happening. We may not know what that reason is, but we are leaning on Him for comfort and strength. Sure we still have plenty of tears, but we are really trying to focus on the positive.

Some Good News

Well, we finally got Internet set up at our new house so that will make this a little easier! I got some good news from the doctor this past week. My chest x-ray came back normal!! and my HCG levels are coming down just as they should!! That should be the only chest x-ray I have to have unless something else comes up. So now I just have to go in and get my blood work done once a week until my HCG levels are at 0. So that is all good. I did have to reschedule my post-op appointment with my doctor for next Friday because, lucky me, came down with this horrid stomach virus that is going around. I am starting to feel much better though. Overall, things are looking better. Thank you to everyone out there that has sent us cards, written us emails, posted comments, etc. It really does help to know that you all are keeping us in your thoughts and prayers throughout all this.